Oblivious: A Contemporary MM Best Friends to Lovers Gay Romance Novel by Leslie McAdam

Author:Leslie McAdam [McAdam, Leslie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-06-14T16:00:00+00:00

“Noah’s acting weird,” I tell Shelby at the office later that morning.

“Why do you say that?” Shelby’s bleached hair falls in his eyes, and he pushes the strands away.

“I’ve known him a long time, and he’s never acted like this.”

“Like what?”

“I dunno.”

Shelby sighs and rubs his cheeks.

“What?” I ask. “You know something. Spit it out.”

“Have you ever thought that Noah might feel differently about you than you do about him?”

I frown. “What are you talking about?”

“You guys are best friends, right?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

“And you’ve been best friends for how long?”

“Since he moved in next door after his mom took off.”

“And, other than those experiments in high school, it’s been just friendship between you two all that time. At least, from your perspective.”

“Right.”

“That’s what I’m saying is different for him. He’s feeling the opposite of you.”

“The opposite of friendship is hate.” I know at some level I’m being obtuse, but I don’t understand.

Shelby looks exasperated. “No, I don’t mean hate. The opposite of just friendship is …” He gives me this significant look, but I have no idea what I’m supposed to be figuring out. There’s no way that Noah is …

In …

Love …

With me.

Shit. I swallow hard and stare at Shelby. “How long has that been going on?” I ask quietly.

“I don’t know. At least as long as I’ve worked here.”

“No fucking way. You were our first employee.”

Shelby raises his eyebrows. “I know what I see.”

“But he hasn’t acted any differently while we’ve been partners than he did before then. In law school. College. High school …”

Has Noah had more feelings for me than I realized, all that time? It seems like it.

“I feel sick,” I mutter. “I think I might actually puke.”

Shelby leans over and grabs a wastebasket. I hold it tightly, swaying on my feet. I’ve never fainted before, but I feel like I might.

“Are you sure?” I ask.

“I asked him point-blank, and he admitted he’s loved you his entire life.”

“Shit.”

While my stomach sinks, part of me is elated. Because I’ve never had feelings for anyone else. Have my feelings been more than friendly toward Noah?

It’s entirely possible.

I slump down in the nearest chair, still holding the trash can. “What the fuck do I do? Should I ask him about it?”

“I mean, as I keep saying to both of you, it’s generally good to talk with people.”

“Okay.” I nod a few times, resolute. “I’ll talk with him. But I’m worried if I say the wrong thing, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

“The only wrong thing that you could say is something that isn’t loving. Even as a friend.”

“But that’s the issue, right? Do I love him as a friend while he loves me as more? And if so, if we stay as friends, will that hurt him? Has he been choosing to be near me, even though I don’t return his love?”

The idea makes me heartsick.

I think back on our interactions. Every time I’ve slung my arm over his shoulders. Every time we’ve cuddled on the couch.

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